One of the things on my Top 10 list of things that drive me crazy is marketing. I never really noticed how much it annoyed me until we stopped watching television two years ago and stopped listening to commercial radio. Now when I see or hear ads they all seem so pathetic and tawdry.
But my favorite two ads that I have seen lately are the "free" miracle Amish Heater and the "free" armored safes. Both ads are written to look like newspaper articles, very tricky.
The electric (yes it runs on electricty) Amish Heater is free you only have to buy the handcrafted cherry wood frame. Unfortunatley you can only buy two per household because they are so popular. Damn I really wanted one for each room of our house.
Next is the free armored safe. You get the safe for free after purchasing $1800 in coins, which the ad refers to as a "hoard". I thought only dragons and trolls had hoards, apparently I was wrong. Anybody can have a hoard, even me. Sign me up.
My favorite part is the photo of an older grandmotherly woman receiving her safe. The caption below it says "No More Worries: Carolyn Ford of Perry Town, OH thought she hit the jackpot when her free Armored Safe was delivered. "I already have some gold coins, but I wanted this whole hoard of US coins as a nice nest egg. I'll also set side some of my hoard for my Grandchildren".
Wow , thanks grandma I aways wanted some of your hoard
Long Live Commercialism and Capitolism (or did they just fail?)
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4 comments:
I really love your top 10 list of things you hate. I am SO excited for when number one finally comes out! Will you please let me know when you are going to reveal it so I can be there?
Why do you hate America? I bought 3 amish heaters based entirely on the convincing photos of the amish making them, we did have to bust into our coin safe to pay for them though. I am planning on bringing the heaters on the MF, and you don't get to sit by it, commie! Hey, is it July yet?
Mckell, just to clear things up there probably are not ten things that I hate in this world just 4 or five that I really can't stand. I will let you know when #1 makes the appearance.
Newty, nobody loves America more than me, I am a patriot to the core, I just feel patriotic about different aspects of America than most. Nothing is more American than social revolution and challenging the status quo. IF you are nice maybe I will set aside some of my hoard for you. And no it is not July yet, we still have corn to ski, but I am excited.
Funny! Where is my grandma's hoard?
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